Oblivion
06:05 May 09 2007
Times Read: 958
To frequent requests and questioning - it’s now official that your addiction is back, ready to feed you the insight into the life which you so desperately hope for. With that being said the curtains close and open up again to a screen filled with subliminal images.
The day is a Monday and it’s the end of a month, the end of things along with the start of some things new…
The setting is that of a dark room with some monitor light, a bed overlooking the desk with a burning cigarette buried in an ashtray along with its predecessors, four nine inch chains hanging from the ceiling along with a couple of pictures on the wall and a few bondage decorations. Moving back and forth is a tall figure of a wreck, pasting in front of a mirror perfectly hiding the tired eyed stare reflecting back.
The phone rings and the caller speaks… ‘’ Come down we’re waiting for you!’’.
At that the last minute ritual is triggered. Putting on a bat two fingered ring in my right hand and a jewel oval-shaped on the left followed by feeling my pockets which usually consist of all the right ingredients for any given situation – A silver skulled wallet, keys, an eye-liner pencil, lipstick, a small flip open mirror, a packet of cigarettes and an Uncle Jack Zippo.
The music’s turned off, the kids are kissed and with a final look in the mirror, the front door’s closed.
Greeting me in the car are three individuals who seem pleased to see me: Faith, The Scientist and Christa.
Faith, originally known as Francesca who changed her name after getting too much into Elisa Dunsku was moving fidgety about in the back. I knew her for six years which I disliked her for five. She use to be this self pitting, immature curse of a woman whom most would mention when sexual experience conversations arise. Now turned into a raving pill popping junkie seemingly decent or perhaps I’m not getting close enough to realize that she’s still the same.
Sitting beside me, The Scientist smiles. He’s a short, intellectual southern with a crew-cut who screams ‘abused’ at first glance but is actually just figuring himself out. He also happens to be Faiths lap dog which explains why he’s always asking me for advice, trying to adopt my bitch attitude to use to his personal advantage. I find it sickening to see a well mannered individual craving for a woman. But then again, he’s still male and for some reason males are desperate as well as women are, they just show it more.
Taking my bag is Christa who I’m constantly asking myself why I’m allowing her to infect my aura in the same ways she did in the past. Regardless to how much she did change, I’m still haunted by the ease she had me wrapped around her finger a couple of years ago. Then again, I also remember how many times she ended up in tears due to my doing and had to be mended. In retrospect, she’s always in the shadows waiting for the opportunity to come back into my life and screw it up.
Everything’s set, the cd’s slipped in, a cigarette’s lit, Combichrist start screaming and despite my objections, we’re off to the South ready to cause havoc since it’s my first time down there, so naturally I need to leave my mark.
Fresh wind colliding with my face, running through my hair reminded me of the last roller-coaster ride I’ve been on which was somewhat ironic given that my life has been just that lately. Instability is the soup of the day… I can’t seem to go on in the same mood for more then twenty minutes, my urges increasing, my head banging inside out, being confined and thrown out of balance, holding onto one thing I don’t even believe in… Hope.
I can hear clinging in my bag. That’s probably my medication so none of my psychosis mattered as in a few hours I’m going to drink myself into oblivion. Like a worrying rapist on trial awaiting a jury’s verdict, I just sat there waiting for the car to stop so I can run free again.
Upon deceleration, my eyes opened and I found myself in uncharted territory. It was a seafront, overlooking a huge industrial construction coming out of the calm waters beneath. To my right was a long road that lead to the port and behind me stood a couple of buildings which looked like the excommunicated pirates looted. To my left sat a huge park leading all the way down to what seemed like a clean yet abandoned beach.
Very much noticed, we stopped by a cheap restaurant with outdoor plastic tables harbored by families engaging in loud oral communication while staring at me. As we waited for the girls to buy more liquor, Joe explained how he had been down here three times and is not as bad as I think it is. It was the kind of thing were you’re just surprised they have electricity and that they’ve moved on from the stone age even though they still look like barbarians who haven’t yet discovered the use of a soap!
We made our way down to this very clean sandy beach were I picked a spot, far away from the degenerated civilization as possible. From here I could see the open water, the construction with all the pretty lights and the couples making out while being spied on by the young villains scattered around them in the park.
The corks snapped and the cups started filling up over and over… Christa started her usual babble about her day followed by the nonsense that she sprouts after drinking half a bottle which usually sends everyone staring at each other. Eventually, innocently or not, she asked me to get a bag out of her bra which was between the padding, well hidden from any curious authorities.
To my disappointment, I retrieved a block of weed. With joints being passed around, the scientist went on about his dislike towards drugs not drug users, which he added after receiving a neglecting look from Faith who can’t say no to drugs! Having something in common with her, I explained to him how I only do cocaine and acid on occasion… By that meaning whenever it’s around. At that, Faith started recalling some of her experiences mixing cocaine with pills which all ended in the same ways which seemed obvious to us.
By the trees dancing from one side to another, I could tell that it was getting cold so in a callow attempt to show off my legs, I found a plain black sheet of silk I had in my bag which I turned into a mini skirt… Such actions instantly triggered Christa’s attention, who moved closer. Not being in the mood for anything and deciding to behave, I didn’t pay much attention to her.
With two or three empty liquor bottles beside me, I felt like swimming even if it’s not skinny dipping. Eventually I convinced myself not to as the sea looked like the kind you’d see on an environmental commercial with poor green fish gurgling black smoke before dying. My last skinny dipping experience wasn’t too gratifying, so that didn’t help any.
It was a calm beautiful night and I was gliding through away from the shores, washing my troubles away if you will. To the sides, high rocks and small cliffs surrounded me. It was peaceful, relaxing… Feeling millions of tiny fish brush against your skin. It was heaven. But since heaven and hell are closely related or perhaps giving some god an orgasm just by viewing my naked body was against the rules, the current changed. A painful sting spread over my right shoulder causing a cry in agony followed by more.
Turning over, in shock… looking down to see that a whole Jellyfish Trojan army was floating in with the current.
‘Just swim.’ I said to myself. ‘ You’re all alone and you need to get yourself out of it’ I repeated. Making it back, stung in various places concentrating around the upper right torso area. I collapsed feeling the poison invade and infest my system.
Opening my eyes again, my face and hair are wet. They’re packing their things and going back to the car since it started raining. I wasn’t in a hurry. ‘’ I need some cleansing anyway, we all have sins! ‘’ I said to Christa who was just there waiting ever so patiently. I continued ‘’ You can go with them, I feel like dancing tonight! ‘’. She said she’d like to stay with me and I saw no reason to neglect her wishes.
So there I am making my way back to the car, taking the same road back through what is now my past. The few sheltered locals see a figure of a beauty with long black wet hair, running mascara, in a black mini skirt wandering around bare-footed and the chances of not getting beat up or hit on were pretty slim!
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